Grateful :)

As most of you who know me well....or maybe even just a little....I have an extreme case of the WORRIES!!! I used to define this as anxiety and perhaps the two can be used interchangeably when talking about me. Sometimes I don't even know that I am worrying because it is going on in my mind. Thank goodness I don't verbalize it all the time or else people would think I was crazy. I can't even really get into what I worry about because #1 yall would think I was crazy and #2 I'm not sure I can really remember day to day worries. The biggest realization I am having about my worry is that it is me mostly trying to PREDICT (a key word for later) what is going to be the outcome of any particular event.

Anyhow, I think I am about to (if I haven't already) drive my fiance crazy with my worries! Most likely because he has now become the "star" of my worry shows. I worry about him constantly! I do not want my worry to come across as being insecure, which I'm sure it does, but I just can't help it. UNTIL last night that is.

I have been doing some bible studies with a group of girls for a while now and I am really learning so much....about me, my faith, and how awesome God can be if we just let him. So me and another girl just happened to bring issues to the group last night that were directly related to WORRY or as I have now learned...PREDICTING. Our chapter for the night was called "Faulty Focus" and ironically our chapter for new week is called "Worry is Like a Rocking Chair." We are studying this book called "Calm My Anxious Heart" by Linda Dillow. BUT, one of the ladies was impelled to share a story with us based on the circumstances we were talking about. The story is in the book somewhere but she needed to share it with us at that moment! So here goes my version.

In a small village lived a very poor woodworker who had this most beautiful horse. Everyone envied this man and his horse. People would come from all over and offer the woodworker lots of money to sell his horse. But he never would. No money was good enough for him to sell his horse. The village people laughed at him and told him how foolish he was for not selling his horse. How could this poor man not want any money. In response to the people the woodworker said "I will not sell my horse. I do not know why. I know nothing more, I know nothing less, all I know is that God knows the rest."

It wasn't long after, the poor woodworker woke up to find his stable empty. His beautiful horse had run away. Immediately the village people laughed at him again. They called him a fool for not selling his horse. Not only was he out of a horse, he never got any money for the horse either. And with that the woodworker responded "I do not know why my stable is empty. I know nothing more, I know nothing less, all I know is that God knows the rest."

After a few short days the woodworker's beautiful horse returned home and brought with him 12 wild horses. And once again the woodworker's stables were full. With this, the village people returned and sang the praises of the woodworker. How fortunate he was to have such a blessed horse. This was such wonderful news and the village people wanted to know how the man knew the horse would be a blessing. To that he replied. "I do not know why my horse came back with 12 wild horses. I know nothing more, I know nothing less, all I know is that God knows the rest."

The woodworker's son began training the wild horses. One day a horrible accident occurred. The young boy was thrown from the horses and broke both of his legs. Again the village people returned and told the woodworker he was stupid and how could he have let such an accident happen. They believed that the beautiful horse really was a curse. The man replied. "I do not know why my son has broken both of his legs. I know nothing more, I know nothing less, all I know is that God knows the rest."

Shortly after this accident, war broke out between the villages and all the young men were sent to fight and die to save their town. Since the woodworker's son was injured, he did not have to go to war. Again the village people came and sang the praises of the woodworker. How fortunate it was that his son had been injured and would not have to go to war. The poor woodworker replied "I do not know why my son was spared from this war. I know nothing more, I know nothing less, all I know is that Gods knows the rest." The END!

So simple it seems!! We do not have to worry about what is going to happen next. God knows and has already planned what will happen next. It is our job to have the Faith in Him to know that he is doing good in our lives even when it doesn't seem clear.

I am not admitting to being completely worry free...NOT AT ALL!! But I do know that my worry gets me nowhere. It serves absolutely no purpose. In fact our next chapter says "Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but gets you nowhere." So I am going to try to stop worrying. In the discussion last night, something else that was pointed out to me that may help my worry is that we are all children of God first. Meaning that JC is not mine, he is God's. God is taking care of him and giving him what he needs. I can't do that.....and neither can my worrying about him! :)